


Shamu's Retirement

by out_of_nowhere



Series: Kinktober [5]
Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: M/M, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-12 04:10:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20974877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_of_nowhere/pseuds/out_of_nowhere
Summary: Now that Rhett's in college, he thinks maybe it's time to retire Shamu and get a more adult toy.





	Shamu's Retirement

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.primalhardwere.com/product/HBB
> 
> Toy in question

He'd had his shamu for years, but he was a senior in college now and figured it was time to give Ol Shammy a break and find a new toy. The problem was, it seemed like all the toys designed for the use Rhett intended were all similar versions of the fleshlight. There were some versions for gay men that did hold some appeal to him, his gaze inadvertently flicking up to Link's bunk, but nothing suited his particular hump kink.

Finally he found his way to the more specialized websites with kinkier toys. Then he saw it. A section titled "humpables." His heart raced in excitement. Finally proof that he wasn't a complete weirdo for wanting to just...hump things. 

When the options came up on his screen, Rhett was intrigued. There was the female and male version of the back end of rabbits. "Heh. Cuz you hump like rabbits," he chuckled to himself. It wasn't the funniest thing he ever heard, but he appreciated the play on words.

It looked soft and enjoyable, but $100 for the thing? That was a lot on his college income. But he hadn't found anything else close to as appealing as this. He sighed and took his credit card from his wallet. After lube, cleaner, and shipping this thing was going to be almost $150. Rhett hoped it was worth it.

==========

Two weeks felt like forever when Rhett had promised to retire Shammy and he only had his fist in the meantime. It got the job done, but if he was going to use his long running standard fantasy of being over someone and thrusting away, it meant holding himself up with one arm. He was in shape, but that's harder to do in the throws of an orgasm. 

Tracking said his package should arrive today, though, and he'd been walking around trying to conceal his half hard-on all morning. Eventually when he checked the status of the tracking number, it showed  _ delivered. _ As soon as his class was over, Rhett ran to his P.O. box and picked it up.

Rhett knew Link had one more class for the day. Technically, so did Rhett, but no way was he not skipping. After two weeks of mediocre masturbating, he wanted to take his time with this. 

Back in their dorm, Rhett opened the box and looked at his prize. He had opted for the male version because...well, because he wanted to pretend it was Link. If he wanted to hump a girl, he'd go find one. He knew Link would always be an unobtainable dream, so humping "male" toys helped his fantasy. He shrugged to himself. He didn't have to answer to anyone, his fantasies were his to worry about. 

He set everything out on the bed. He picked up the toy. It was heavier than he expected. Both firm and very flexible. He quickly washed it and returned to his bed. He pressed a finger to the hole to give it a try. It wasn't completely realistic, but he figured a little lube and imagination and his dick would be just fine. 

He pulled back his sheets and laid down a towel to catch any excess lube for easier cleanup. Stripping out of his clothes, he sat on his heels on the bed. He drizzled a little lube on his fingers and inserted first one, then two into the hole. 

He was fascinated by how it stretched and moved around his fingers, both giving gently and remaining tight around him. He closed his eyes and imagined it was Link on the bed before him, allowing Rhett to work him open, squirming and making the most delicious noises. His dick was already leaking in excitement. 

He poured a little more lube into his hand and gave himself a few strokes before getting on his knees and lowering himself to line up with the toy. He had to hold it still while he slid his dick in, but wow did it feel good. Better than Shammy any day of the week. 

He began slowly thrusting, moving around until he figured out the best way to use his body instead of a hand to hold the toy still and continue humping. He had just gotten the angle figured out and was starting to really move when he heard a squeak from the door. He froze and slowly turned his head towards the noise. Link was standing there, back pressed against the door. 

"Shit, shit, shit. Sorry, bo. I guess I lost track of time," Rhett said, frantically looking for something to cover himself but his sheets were bunched at his feet. He finally remembered the towel under the toy and rolled awkwardly so he was sitting up in his bed, a problematic lump over his crotch. 

Rhett watched as Link's eyes flitted from his crotch to Shamu on the windowsill. Link's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What are you using if Shamu is up there?" he asked, seemingly nonplussed at the invasion of Rhett's privacy. 

"Really?" Rhett asked, blushing furiously. 

"Yeah," Link shrugged. "I thought Shamu was the only thing you used for...that."

"Shamu...retired," Rhett mumbled, still oozing embarrassment. 

Link sat down beside Rhett on the bed. "So show me what you've got now."

"Jesus, Link," Rhett wiped his hand over his face and shifting slightly away from Link. 

"What?" Link asked innocently. "We don't have any secrets."

_ Except one, _ Rhett thought. "Okay, but, just...don't laugh."

Link nodded solemnly and Rhett reached under the towel and slid the toy off his still very hard dick. Being naked and scrutinized by Link was keeping him turned on. "It's just lube," he said as he handed it to Link. "I hadn't, you know, yet."

Link nodded and examined the toy. "What's it supposed to be?" he asked. 

"The tail end of a rabbit. It's called a 'humpable.' Cuz, you know, hump like rabbits," he explained. "I don't have a weird rabbit fetish, I promise. Just humping." Link giggled at that and Rhett couldn't help joining. 

"It's a male rabbit?" Link asked, gently rubbing his thumb around the edge of the whole. 

Rhett swallowed as he watched Link's fingers, his dick twitching under the towel. "Umm, yeah," was all he could say.

Link nodded. "Do I know him?" he asked, confusing Rhett. 

"Huh? Know who?" 

"You know, whoever you think about when you...use this," Link said, experimentally easing his thumb into the hole. 

Rhett was going to die. He was naked while Link sat beside him holding and fingering the toy he was just pretending was Link. And it was going to kill him. "Um, uh, yeah. You know him," Rhett finally answered. 

"Oh," Link said and sighed, throwing the toy back in Rhett's lap and standing up.

"Wait, I'm confused," Rhett said, setting the toy aside. "Are you mad?" 

Link shrugged. 

Rhett was shocked. Link was mad? He never took his best friend for a homophobe, regardless of how they were raised. "Are you mad because it's a guy I was thinking about or because I said you know him?"

Link's eyes met Rhett's for just a moment before finding something else to stare at. "I'm not mad it's a guy. I don't care about  _ that. _ " He took a ragged breath. "I guess I just figured that if you ever got feelings for a guy or wanted to experiment with a guy, it'd be me." He shrugged. "It's stupid. Whatever. I'll leave you alone."

As Link's hand was reaching the door knob Rhett's brain finally caught up to the situation. "Wait! Link, stop!"

Link turned around, and waited impatiently for Rhett to say more. 

"You know who  _ you _ are, don't you?" Rhett asked timidly. 

"Of course, I kn-" he stopped midword. "Oh."

"Oh," Rhett agreed. 

"So," Link fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "You were thinking about me?" he asked to confirm. 

Rhett nodded. 

Link went and sat back down beside him. "And you never, with another guy?"

Rhett shook his head. "Never."

"Thank God," Link said, throwing his arms around Rhett and attacking his mouth. 

As Link removed his clothes and settled below him on his bed, Rhett thought that might have been the best $150 he ever spent. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tomorrow is an update for Banjos and Brothels. Saturday is another prompt, which is placed in the au of Make Me, and I'm super excited!


End file.
